The Bernie Sanders campaign for president is dead. It has ceased to be, bereft of life, and rests in peace. It has gone to meet the great Campaign Manager in the Sky, to join the likes of Howard Dean, Michael Dukakis, and George McGovern. We are gathered here today to pay our respects to...
Continue readingJoker Is Dope But Not Deep
If you were to physically lay out every essay and thinkpiece written about Joker in the last month, you would have an unbroken chain of paper that would stretch from Death Valley up to Alpha Centauri. Obviously it would be irresponsible for me, yet another cis-white-male blogger, to ignore this chance to throw my...
Continue readingHow To Sex Colonel Sanders: A Dating Sim Love Story
2019 will be known as the year that video gaming changed forever. Move over Minecraft. Be seeing you Borderlands. Fuck off Fortnight. I Love You Colonel Sanders: A Finger Lickin’ Good Dating Simulator has arrived in a meteoric storm of mashed potatoes and lust and it CANNOT BE DENIED. If you can’t get behind that...
Continue readingMy Midsommar Night’s Scream
DAY ONE – ATTESTUPA Summer is mercifully coming to a close and I thought it would be seasonally appropriate for me to vomit a handful of words of appreciation about one of my favorite movies to come out this year: Ari Aster’s rootin’ tootin’ cultin’ bear burnin’ feel-good-hit-of-the-Midsommar. I was fortunate enough to catch...
Continue readingCorbin vs. The Democratic Primaries: Part Uno
A Song of Ire and Strife Last night, I astrally projected myself into an alternate universe where Donald Trump succumbed to a heart attack right after Comey revealed the FBI was still investigating Hillary Clinton. Obviously Hillary won the election. For the record, it’s pretty dope. Kanye never went off the deep end, no...
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